Relationship Warning How to Lose Your Partner by Being Too Perfect

dfjtjI just got off a call with a former client, Ashley, and I’m still smiling. She called to share her great news. Ashley got engaged over the weekend and is beaming with joy! I’m smiling because I know she has come a long way.

I met a different Ashley a few years ago. She was a heartbroken 30-year-old nurse who couldn’t understand why her boyfriend ended their 18-month relationship. Ashley believed she was the perfect girlfriend, but Rick felt like something was missing. Ashley was devastated because she worked hard at the relationship, yet Rick didn’t want a future with her.

A former model, Ashley is a stunningly beautiful and intelligent woman who goes out of her way to make others feel good. She was devoted to Rick and took pride in being “selfless” and generous. Ashley even surprised Rick with thoughtful gifts. She was easygoing, eager to please, always agreed to activities with his Rick’s friends and family. Ashley also anticipated and took care of everyday chores like cleaning Rick’s apartment or getting his car washed without him

How to Be Alone When You are in a Relationship

jlkudThere are too many dangerous misconceptions that shape our view of the so-called perfect relationship. Usually, those misconceptions deal with the stripping of one’s individuality in the name of long-lasting coupledom and undeniable romance.

You don’t do what you want to do, you do what we want to do.

You don’t have your own opinion, the two of you have an opinion.

You don’t have your own space, the two of you share a space.

And while the comfort of all-encompassing closeness can be the magic fairy tale dreams are made of, it is also unreasonable, unsustainable, and downright dangerous.

Because the truth is, we all need time alone.

We need to feel the space between adorned walls and lazy chairs, where our bodies can stretch and expand and unapologetically take up free space.

We need the opportunity to sit in solitude, untouched and unattached, so the constantly swirling complexities of any given day can be digested.

We need to feel nothing but the air we’re breathing, our skin burdened only by the

You CAN Love Someone Else Even If You Dont Love Yourself

juryujtyI used to believe all the spiritual, New Age, self-help assertions, all those depressing ultimatums. You know the ones–

You can’t really love another until you love yourself.

You don’t know true forgiveness until your forgive yourself.

You can’t blah blah blah until you blah blah blah yourself.

I call bullshit.

I’ve been loving and forgiving and accepting other people for a long time, and I still haven’t mastered doing it with myself. I’ve gotten a lot better at it, to be sure, but I’m a helluva lot more likely to accept things in those I love than I am to accept the same things in myself. For now anyway.

It’s a lot harder to love and forgive and accept ourselves than it is to do with others, especially those we care about the most. If we waited to get to the point of full blown self-love before we dared to love anyone else, this would be a desperately lonely planet.

Don’t let these spiritual rules prevent you from taking positive steps in your life. If you’re feeling ready to love someone,

to Ask a Guy Out

Back in the 1930s, cartoonist Al Capp wrote a comic strip called Li’l Abner, in which he introduced a character named Sadie Hawkins [source: Capp Enterprises]. Poor Sadie was not one of the more attractive girls in her town, so her father, in an effort to help her get married, came up with the idea of Sadie Hawkins’ Day — a day when all the unmarried girls could pursue the eligible bachelors in town, and hopefully get themselves husbands.
Over time, the concept of Sadie Hawkins’ Day gained popularity in the real world, and schools began holding Sadie Hawkins’ Day dances in which the girls could ask out the guys of their choice. While Capp probably never intended for it to become a national phenomenon, Sadie Hawkins’ Day gave women a chance to have some control over their social lives. However, while it may be funny in a cartoon, in real life, asking a guy out can be nerve-racking.
Sweaty palms, a dry mouth, butterflies in your stomach — as a teenager, even if you’re the most popular person in school, this is how it usually feels to ask a person out for the first time. Once upon a time,

Reasons to Exercise as a Couple

An ideal workout partner has several requisite qualities: He or she is someone you enjoy being around, a person who can accept and issue a challenge and understands your strengths and weaknesses. Sounds oddly like your significant other, doesn’t it? In fact, a healthy relationship and a healthy body have many similarities, so you might as well get your heartpounding with the person your heart aches for.

The benefits of exercise are well-documented but have you thought about how exercise can enhance your love life? It’s a proven fact that exercise improves your mood and helps fight a variety of chronic diseases [source: Mayo Clinic]. Hey, you want to be together as long as possible, right? Plus, after a good workout you’ll feel more energized, sleep better and look good for each other.

An ideal workout partner has several requisite qualities: He or she is someone you enjoy being around, a person who can accept and issue a challenge and understands your strengths and weaknesses. Sounds oddly like your significant other, doesn’t it? In fact, a healthy relationship and a healthy body have many similarities, so you

How to Get Over Your First Love

Falling in love is wonderful and life-changing experience. First few months of your first relationship are best thing you have experienced so far in your life and you are enjoying every moment of it, not thinking about the expiration date of your first love.

Although some first loves become first and last, 99% of us had to deal with getting over first love. Why is this so hard and is there an easier way to get over your first love?

What makes it so hard to get over your first love is the fact you’ve been through a lot together and probably had a few first experiences you shared in your life.

Maybe it was first beer or vodka, or first staying out late or first sex. We get emotionally attached to people with whom we share this kind of experience and therefore it is much harder for us to accept the fact we have to detach from them.

Getting over the first love is a mental challenge and it is a chance for your spiritual development.

You should always appreciate that person and be thankful for all the things you had.

Nurture the fact you had something amazing together and face the fact it couldn’t

Find your Match

Love is a funny feeling, they say. Love is for the weak-hearted, they say. Love conquers all, they say. Love is blind, they say. Love keeps the world sane, they say.

On one hand there are people who think love is a waste of time; while others think love is everything. The same applies when it comes to one’s expressions of love. I have seen different people express their love in different ways. You would have seen these too.

Some are like heavy metal music. Expensive gifts, vacations in exotic places, jewellery, gadgets, caviar and champagne, and what not – all to get that one precious smile from their beloved’s lips. And probably a kiss to go with it.

Some are like soft melodies. Focussing more on spending time with their beloved, whispering sweet nothings into their beloved’s ears, making each minute memorable, having their own code words, listening to their favourite song and walking hand in hand under one umbrella during heavy rains, stealing a kiss when nobody is watching – it is these tiny actions that count. It is nowhere as loud and in-your-face like the previous category, but is romantic and heartfelt in its own way.

Some are really mute. There

Help For You To Bring Back the Love of Your Life

So your relationship has hit the stones and he’s finished with you. You quickly require him back and are prepared to endeavor pretty much anything. Well the inspiring news is that most associations can be recuperated – especially if you go the right way about it. Don’t you know a great deal of couples who have got back together after a division, on occasion really when the clarifications behind the partition were truly bona fide regardless? Conceivably you know of couples who have got back together after a section and you’ve thought “why for goodness’ sake has he/she taken her/him once more?” There really are few, if any, hopeless circumstances.

What you need to bring back lost love is to take after a productive strategy and refrain from submitting some principal slips – the most discernibly the most exceedingly terrible of which is probably to attack your ex with unending phone calls or texts. Such an expansive number of young women resort to this, however all it by and large accomplishes will be to genuinely bug him and push him promote away. Similarly don’t ask, contend, weaken or yell abuse at him.

 

What

5 Tips to Refuse a Marriage Proposal

While looking for a prospective matrimonial alliance for yourself or your son, daughter or other family members, you will come across many proposals. Out of all these proposals, a lot of proposals will not be a good match, and you will have to reject them. However, it is important that you refuse the match in a polite way, and not hurt the sentiments of the other party.

It may seem that rejecting a marriage proposal is not a big deal, but that’s not actually the case. People invest a lot of time when looking for a prospective alliance, and thus a ‘no’ can be a big let-down. Also, if someone is getting declined too often, the word can spread quickly within the community and can hamper their prospects. Also, if someone is refusing too many proposals, they may come across as too choosy or arrogant even if they have genuine reasons for rejecting. All this means that rejections are a big deal, and thus should be handled with a lot of care.

Be Careful with Your Words: When declining a marriage proposal, you should be careful about your words, and ensure you don’t hurt the other party. You should use sensitive language,

Its Time to Learn How To Renew Your Romance

Come on and let your Sun sign take you to a new lease on love now. Whether you are happily coupled up or even looking for your perfect match, love relationship is open to searching for ways to improve romance. It is your sign in Horoscope guides you to making this your year of love.

Fire Signs

The fire signs contain Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius. For those who were born in these signs, they can light a fire under their romantic life with the consideration of the other person’s interests.

  • For anyone who has found their match

Do you really have a perfect soul-mate who lives to jog, but you don’t like running? It is supposed that you both participate in a gym together, register a class, go for a walk only, or even play a sport, do you feel happy as meeting your beloved all day? Play each other and stay together. Show that you take care of your soul-mate and care about what she/her loves. You may leave your comfort zone, but you will feel great as the renewal of your love will be fullest with no risk to worry about.

Help For You To Bring Back the Love of Your Life

So your relationship has hit the stones and he’s finished with you. You quickly require him back and are prepared to endeavor pretty much anything. Well the inspiring news is that most associations can be recuperated – especially if you go the right way about it. Don’t you know a great deal of couples who have got back together after a division, on occasion really when the clarifications behind the partition were truly bona fide regardless? Conceivably you know of couples who have got back together after a section and you’ve thought “why for goodness’ sake has he/she taken her/him once more?” There really are few, if any, hopeless circumstances.

What you need to bring back lost love is to take after a productive strategy and refrain from submitting some principal slips – the most discernibly the most exceedingly terrible of which is probably to attack your ex with unending phone calls or texts. Such an expansive number of young women resort to this, however all it by and large accomplishes will be to genuinely bug him and push him promote away. Similarly don’t ask, contend, weaken or yell abuse at him.

When Someone We Love Believes Something We Hate

A dear friend believes something that I think is absurd — unimaginable in fact. That he could think what he thinks is not just absurd and unimaginable to me, but also distasteful, and profoundly difficult to respect. Complicating the matter in this case is that what he believes is something that I “should” do, that he knows is the “right” action for me to take. This belief presents a great problem for me: how to maintain the friendship and my loving feelings towards someone who genuinely, in every cell of his being, believes something that not only makes no sense to me, but also that I find fundamentally abhorrent.

Boiled down, the conflict between my friend and me is about how we define “right” and “wrong,” and our attachment to our personal “rights” and “wrongs.” We all run into this conflict, frequently. Whether it’s a friend who holds a radically different political belief than us, or one who believes in a moral choice that we consider inhuman, or even something small, when their “best book ever written” is one that we think is utterly infantile. Whatever the current contents of “right” and “wrong,” we are continually having

The Advice I Wish I Was Given How To Cancel Your Wedding

Our wedding was going to be in my hometown, at a private winery surrounded by blooming lavender fields in Northern California. Our colors were pearl and magenta, and my dress was a strapless A-line. Catering was set to cook for 150 people, the florist was secured and ready with a million magenta gerbera daisies, our Episcopalian officiant booked, and we were working on choosing a first dance song. My mother had her dress, and his mother had booked a local Italian restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. (All of this was done, by the way, from New York before Pinterest, before text messaging, and when The Knot was still fairly brand new and making waves with its wedding calculator.) My best friend was working on her speech. The invitations were ready to go out the following Saturday, in a box near the couch.

And then my fiancé told me he didn’t want to have any more children, ever.

We canceled the wedding.

It wasn’t really about whether or not we’d have more children. There were huge waving screaming red flags from the beginning, and they all make this a good, juicy, exciting story. (Buy me a

Exceptional You

You rose through the ranks of a Fortune 500 Company and now you are at the top of your professional game. You save people’s lives through the practice of medicine. Your entrepreneurial spirit has made you wealthier than you could have ever imagined. You are a published author. And so forth.

But you are in the same boat as the person who has to make that awkward first date phone call this evening…and your intelligence and life experience should inform your understanding that the first phone call should not be scrutinized, fact checked or otherwise picked apart in ways that have helped your analytical, discerning mind succeed professionally.

The phone call has nothing to do with that person’s professional success, resumé of accomplishments, or, most importantly, who they are as a human being. The first phone call is not limited to a demographic or exclusive to a certain class of individual. It’s the great equalizer. So ‘you’ do not have to be any of the aforementioned masters to know what making that call is like. This involves everybody.

The first phone call is difficult. Yet, clients tell me it’s critical. Vital. A deal-starter and even

10 of the Worst Dates Ever

First dates are awkward enough when they’re going smoothly, so you can only imagine the horrors of a date that is going terribly wrong. You know you have imagined it, too (if you haven’t already experienced it yet, that is): you’re on your way to a first date, and your palms are sweaty while worst-case scenarios swirl around your head. Some people make it through their date without incident (and feel a little silly for imagining such absurd things to begin with), but some people have their worst fears realized- and we’ve asked these people to share their stories for our own viewing pleasure (and reassurance!) that it happens to everyone. It’s a part of life, so laugh it off, albeit, a bit nervously. Read on for ten of the “worst-date scenarios” ever experienced, and be thankful these haven’t happened to you (yet). And share your own if you’ve got one!

1. The Player
“I went to a bar with a guy who complained about being tired the entire time and said little else. He played candy crush until the cheerleaders came out on TV during the football game that was playing, then told me, ‘I’m awake

Ending Toxic Relationships

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me decree: The age where you stop putting up with people’s bullshit is 36. It may come well before then, but I know for sure the beaten, bloody corpse of giving-a-damn breathes its last miserable breath on your 36th day of birth.

Too dramatic? You’re right. I’m an artist. I get emotional sometimes. Let me try this again.

This year on my 36th birthday, I received a phone call from someone purporting to wish me well; but I was instead met with an out-of-nowhere onslaught of anger, bitterness and passive-aggressive insults. I tried desperately to save the conversation, to walk away from the call with some sense of positivity, but the wounds were too deep and the history between us too complicated.

Which is when I came to a necessary but painful realization: the relationship needed to end immediately. I wished the person well and hung up the phone. I will probably never speak to them again.

Put very simply, if a relationship (whether it be a friend, a family member or a significant other) makes you feel bad, you shouldn’t be in it.

That’s not to say that

Are You a Trash Can for Others Negativity

Carmen, a client of mine, told me at the end of one of her sessions, “I’m no longer willing to be a trash can for others’ negativity.”

“Wow!” I said. “I’m delighted to hear that! And I love that metaphor!”

Carmen is a lovely, warm, intelligent and compassionate young woman in her late 20’s. Coming from a very narcissistic mother, Carmen learned early in life to be safe from her mother’s anger by listening to her mother’s complaints. She learned to put aside her own feelings and be a mother to her mother. Of course, no matter how much she gave to her mother, it was never enough. It wasn’t until Carmen started her Inner Bonding work that she discovered was narcissism was.

Early in our work together, Carmen discovered that most of her friends were just like her mother. “I sit and listen to them complain or listen to them brag. They are never interested in me at all. If I say anything about myself, they always bring it right back to themselves. Why are so many of my friends like this?”

“Because you are willing to listen without speaking up for yourself. There are

7 Ways to Deal With Red Flags in a Relationship

Finding and creating healthy relationships is hard work and many people do not have the energy or patience for this type of effort. It is a normal human desire to want to be in relationships which are mutually respectful; however, when we are not in these types of relationships we tend to, either, blame ourselves for the problems and make efforts to change, or we try and change the other person rather than simply acknowledging the relationship is dysfunctional and toxic.

1. Be rational not emotional.

Rather than wasting a lot of mental and emotional energy worrying about whether someone likes or approves of you, take a moment to analyze if what you are feeling inside, all the butterflies, adrenalin and excitement, is simply chemical.

You can feel chemistry with people who are not good for you, and you most often do. If you get lost in feelings of lust you could easily end up in a toxic relationship. You have to ask yourself if the person you are interested in has most, if not all of the qualities, you are looking for in a relationship.

2. Be comfortable being alone.

The

Don’t Let Doubt Ruin Your Relationship

Human beings are built to thrive in groups, working with others in harmony in order to make the most of the talents and abilities in order to increase the chances of success. Within these tribes, smaller teams naturally form, making tasks more efficient as large jobs can be divided into smaller chunks. Although uncertainty is allowable and healthy in small doses, performing tasks such as fostering constructive competition between members of the team, it can be cruel and destructive in too large of an amount. Therefore, one needs to learn how to calmly and confidently navigate the waters around doubt in order to prevent their relationship from breaking down.

Firstly, if there is no evidence of any wrongdoing except for a nagging voice in the back of the mind, the only plausible and logical action to take is to further probe without letting paranoia take over. Casually asking indirect questions to mutual friends is a responsible and non-invasive task to undertake if one is careful not to arouse suspicions, but checking someone’s phone or computer behind their back is never okay. In fact, the latter undermines trust and may even aggravate any feelings of doubt if certain

How to Date Long Distance If You Must

I told my (long distance) boyfriend that I was writing this article and asked if he had any tips for others in our position. He had some advice. Three words actually: “Don’t do it.” And I’m not gonna lie, I pretty much agree. But if long distance love calls and you must answer, here are some tips from my/our experience.

Hone those communication skills. I’d actually never been in a long distance relationship before this one so I didn’t really know what to expect. And let me tell you, it’s not easy. I don’t think I realized how much “normal” relationships are spent just experiencing life together. When you’re in a long distance relationship you only have phone calls, texts, emails, and Face Time/Skype. Miscommunications happen and you have to be patient with each other. Some nights one person is way too tired for a phone call. Fair enough. But in these cases you don’t have another option of watching a movie or doing work side by side. Imagine if every interaction you had with your significant other had to be a conversation or an exerted verbal effort. Yep. That’s the definition of long distance. SO here

8 Signs It is Time To Move On From The Man You are Dating

In addition to being a world-renowned comedian, talk show host, philanthropist, husband and father, Steve Harvey is the Chief Love Officer of online dating site Delightful. He draws on his personal experiences and the stories that millions of people have shared with him over the years to help more people find and keep the love they deserve.

You’ve been dating a guy for several months, and you really like him. He’s funny and sexy and your stomach does that little flip thing when a text from pops up on your phone. But all is not perfect. You’re not getting as much attention as you’d like to feel completely secure. You know he’s holding something back and it’s making you crazy.

Don’t ignore your feelings. Not every new relationship is going to make it, and you want to be sure you keep a clear head while you decide if your new guy really deserves your heart. If you’re having a hard time trusting your gut, trust me instead and look for one of these signs it’s time to move on.

1. He’s not interested in meeting your family. A guy who sees you as part of